Very quickly I want to apologize. Even if I can't say it to your face, it still helps to write it down right?

This summer has been pretty rough for me. I've always wanted to travel but to not have a place of my own, a real solid place where I can just be has been a real problem.

I spent a week in Maine just falling in love before coming back to Boston for the weekend and then flying away from my boyfriend like one of those old movies that I love to watch. I planned and begged to come back wicked early because Florida sucked to be completely honest.

I hated it. It was nice moving into the new house and painting my new room and unpacking!! Oh to not have to live out of a suitcase!! It was a dream, I repacked my things and drove for three days back to the state I have grown to hate.

Maine. Once again, back in the arms of my man and although things are going splendid between us, his job is very taxing on our time and my patience. After the first week we moved to Pittston to house sit for a month. The woman had a dog and 2 cats that needed much attending to and therefore tying us to that house. A house in the middle of nowhere and believe me, I am not the type to care all that much but after a place like Cambridge where you walk out your front door and there is a world of options open for your pleasure, it's easy to hate this land of trees. Still, the month passed rather quickly, I spent my week days, while Dan was working, either with his parents or cleaning house. Sometimes treating myself to a visit to my cousin Abbie's house where I drew Shia LaBeouf on her wall. Now that, that's complete I am back at Dan's with only a couple weeks until school. I can't wait.

To be honest, I'm very excited to have my own room, but I feel I may have taken the opportunity all too quickly. Although I believe this situation to be ideal for me, I left my "future" roommate on her own and for that, I am incredibly sorry. She's one of my best friends and I deserted her without the slightest regards to her feelings.

On top of this my dad called the other day and I think he misses his baby girl. He seemed so heartbroken that I hadn't written or called him. I talked to my mum plenty of times but that was because of all this changing rooms and other school related information. Still, he took it to heart and I felt so bad for tossing him aside as I did.

I just feel so lost right about now. I'm tired and getting ridiculously moody and anxious to be away. I'm so happy with how my life is turning out and yet so miserable at the same time. Only a few more weeks.